right now the littles are...

Autumn showed up this month. Our neighborhood trees are colorful, and we crunch leaves underfoot when we walk around. We have coats, hats, gloves and the like unpacked and ready. We're doing fall things. Candles, soup, snuggling under the big yellow blanket, watching Harry Potter (that's mostly just Ricky and I), and plenty of walks to admire the beauty.

Nicolas has quite a bit of homework this year: spelling words, a math worksheet, and reading to do each evening, along with special projects. He was also selected to be part of the school spelling bee in December, so we're working through word lists for that. His reading is really improving. He finished Charlotte's Web, and we just started Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, which he's reading out loud to me after dinner. He's at the age where he realizes he has the ability to lie, so we've had some issues with honesty about how many pages he's read. Having him read out loud seems to be the solution, for now. He's learning some big lessons, transitioning into a different phase of childhood. It's painful to see sometimes. I have to remind myself that childhood is the perfect, safe time for learning. He needs to fall on soft ground.

He loves silly humor, anything related to martial arts, dancing and building Lego creations. He's occasionally excited to go work on riding his bike, but tends to need some encouragement for that. He's been going to a karate class every Monday night and will probably get to test for a belt soon. There are a lot of similarities to what he learned in Taekwondo. It's so cute--he's quite focused and serious about it. He's still working on piano, although we haven't been as consistent with lessons since moving here. Sometimes it's just too much. Still, he's making his way through his book and coming home from music class at school with quite a bit of new knowledge. I think I'm hearing a pretty nice singing voice these days too; he's learning to control his pitch a bit more.

Silas is, well, toddlery. He's sweet as can be when he's sweet, and will fight to the death when he doesn't like something. It's challenging, but we have our nice moments and I truly savor them. He takes to the role of big brother well, and seems to feel quite a bit of responsibility for Aimee (this morning he helped me dress her. It took forever, but it was pretty cute.) He's learning his letters and shapes, and how to say please and thank you. I find that if I can spend pockets of quality time with him, the day goes a bit more smoothly (because toddlers never say spend time with me, please. They simply empty out all of the construction paper and slide around on it.) 

He's inherited a nice stash of hand me downs this fall, from Nicky's garage box. It makes me happy to see them out again.

He wakes up early and heads downstairs to watch "shapes". This is how I find him, usually. Or I hear his raspy morning voice saying, "Come on, Nickboy. Let's go downstairs." He usually commands Penny to come wherever he's going, too. He consumes crazy amounts of apples (seriously, like 3 or 4 a day), insists that cheese is really pronounced chee, and wants me to kiss his ouchies. He likes to put on his backpack and boots and explore the backyard, and brings me any and every dandelion he can find, with great excitement. He's just the delicious epitome of toddler boyness.

Aimee took her first steps this month! Some days she's excited to give repeat performances, and some days she just doesn't want to. Her development has always been like that, so we take it slow. She's curious, and she pulls back. I think it's partly her personality and partly a fearfulness that comes with her history. I have to reserve a special kind of patience for her; one I'm still figuring out. She's repeated a handful of words back to us: ball, Pa, up, cat, Si (for Silas), neigh (for the sound a horse makes), duck, and goat. She says "hi! hi!" and "deh-deh" for thank you all on her own though. For a while, she's been answering questions with a quiet and serious "Yeah."She loves to play with her brothers. We've discovered that she loves to swing, too. She's been too small to put in the infant swing at the park for so long, but now she fits. She laughs hard when the swing starts; it's wonderful and sweet.

I think she's transitioning to one nap, which is actually nice because it lines up with Silas' after-lunch nap/rest time. She still just about falls over with excitement when her Papa comes home. She gives kisses and offers her cheek for them, saying "ooooohhhhh". She gives high fives.

She's learned the art of feeding her food to Penny when she doesn't want it, but she's by far the least picky of our three. She's cutting three teeth right now.

So, those are the littles right now. Growing and changing all the time. On to November!

What I'm Into-September 2013

Here's a fun thing. A new-to-me blogger, Leigh Kramer, hosts this link-up for people to share what they read, listened to, ate, and otherwise engaged in for the previous month. So if you're at all interested in what I did in September, stick around! Otherwise, you know, um, don't. Or something.

Happenings

• September was full of happy events. As I posted here, we finalized our daughter's adoption on September 3rd, a mere two weeks after moving across the country. 

• Ricky turned the big 3-0 and we celebrated with dinner, presents, and a salted caramel cheesecake. In the spirit of youth, I surprised him with tickets to go see Macklemore in November. Maybe we'll feel silly, but it should be fun. I'm on the lookout for a babysitter starting now. 

• Nicolas turned seven. It was a little sad to not have the usual friends and family around to celebrate with a big party like usual, but he took it in stride. We made the day special with lots of balloons, a special breakfast, funfetti cake (hurts my teeth to just think about it), a new bike with NO training wheels, opening packages he'd received in the mail from family, and a fun night at his school carnival (it also happened to be his school's 40th anniversary that day.) The next day was Saturday so we took a trip to the Lego store. It was actually not huge like we thought it would be, and therefore a bit anticlimactic for the adults, but he loved it.

• We joined a gym that offers two hours of childcare daily. We're mostly alternating days, but we did have a "work-out date" on Saturday. I was so beat afterward that I had to take a nap. Aaaand that's what I get for working out with Ricky. It was fun though.
• Silas, Aimee and I are staying home quite a bit. I'm not planning on looking for a nursing job until January, so this is a nice break. I'm still spending a lot of time unpacking and "cozifying" the house, and we frequent the neighborhood parks and head out to the gym a few mornings a week. Our schedules revolve around naps. It's simple and sweet, and I can actually appreciate it because it's temporary (funny how that works.)

• We've been to three churches here, two of which are promising. I'll share more about that in the coming days, as we figure things out. 

Reading

• I read Nadia Bolz-Weber's new book Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner and Saint. It was refreshing to read something both gritty and vulnerable, and I came away from it encouraged in my faith. As Nadia writes, Christianity is really just a continuous process of death and resurrection, rather than a ladder we climb. It's freeing to think in those terms. I also really enjoyed listening to her interview with Krista Tippett, particularly the part where she discusses her tattoos and their meanings, and notes that tattoos often carry with them a profound story or hard-won truth. My one tattoo (the second one is brewing, I think) came from my years of grief following my father's passing and the desire to hold onto God's goodness. It's a hope really, more than an assurance. It sure is difficult to explain to curious passers-by in one or two lines! Anyway, I suppose I'm deeply curious about why people get the tattoos that they do, so this was fascinating to listen to.

• I'm still plugging away at America's Women: Four Hundred Years of Dolls, Drudges, Helpmates, and Heroines by Gail Collins. It's truly interesting material, but I suppose my brain is easily pulled away by social media and such after a bit of reading in this book. It's a good one for my nightstand.

• I just started All is Grace: A Ragamuffin Memoir by Brennan Manning with John Blase (whose poetry I've really come to look forward to.) This one's been on the list for a while. 

Listening

• I've mostly been listening to Over the Rhine's new album Meet Me at the Edge of the World. It's my favorite work of theirs so far. Their music is gorgeous as usual, but there's a sense of peace and groundedness to this album that's really special, in contrast to the tensions they expressed in previous albums. We saw them in Albuquerque in 2010, and I remember they talked about how so many are interested in the stories of how people meet and fall in love, but they were more interested in the stories of what happens after people are married. It's infinitely more meaningful to hear happy stories when people have shared their sad and confusing times as well. All that to say, I sure like them.

• I'm a big fan of Jonathan Martin's sermon podcasts, and often listen to them while getting stuff done around the house. Thank God for my internet pastors :)

Eating

• I was curious about the cauliflower pizza crust I see everywhere, so we tried it out last Friday night. It's so, so good! I used this recipe.

• I'm enjoying fall-ish recipes. Chili in the crockpot, roasted acorn squash with taco meat and melted cheese, butternut squash lasagna....you get the idea. 

• Yesterday I discovered this little gem. It's every bit as good as it looks.

Watching

• Breaking Bad, along with most everyone else. A few years back I watched an episode and a half with Ricky and decided it wasn't for me because of the violence. At some point though, the story drew me in and I've been watching it religiously since. I did see the final season including the series finale before I finished all the in between episodes, so it's all a bit of a mishmash in my head. I think I like it as much as I do, despite the violence and difficult subject matter, because the characters are so layered and remind me of people I know in real life. To me, that's one of the marks of a well-written show.

• I also have big plans to start season 4 of Downton Abbey now that Walter White and I are parting ways. Ricky and I like to keep up with The Voice on Hulu and I'll be checking in with Parenthood at some point. Yay for new fall shows to watch.

So that's September in a nutshell. What did you enjoy (or not enjoy)? Linking up with Leigh here.

Happy October!

just because

Just because I had an early meeting, and now I'm gathering tax documents and folding laundry, crossing t's and dotting i's, and days behind on my reading,

just because I want to remember how Silas runs with his arms bent up high, a little like Sid the Science Kid,

and because Nicky-boy ran and jumped up on me when I picked up him from school,

and because Silas likes to wear hats,

and because of her lashes, and little yellow dresses, and grass that's starting to turn,

and just because my boys play together so much now,

and because a nice old man gave them a walking stick. Pick one out, hijo, that's right, go ahead! Because honorary grandparents exist all around.

Because it's a windy first day of Spring, and I miss them while I cross things off my list. Just because.

the littles, right now

Nicky will spend a few minutes describing to you the "features" of whatever weaponized Lego spaceship he just built, then run off to watch Tinker Bell on Netflix. He's well-rounded like that ;). He's a bit more emotional these days. I read something once about a six year-old developing more of an internal life, and I think that's happening with him. This is the part of parenting where kids start to need their own tools, it seems, more than before. I can't climb inside his head and fix things, but I can try to help him express his feelings and adjust his expectations (bedtime often comes as a harsh blow, when he's trying to squeeze 17,000 things into one evening.) He can recite his times tables like a pro, and play his chords and scales on the piano more easily and in time with the metronome, thanks to lots of practice with Papa. He comes home from school talking about girlfriends and break-ups, and generally has no idea what he's saying, but it's leading to some Conversations. We're trying to balance maintaining his sweet innocence with not throwing him to the wolves at school. He loves pizza and a movie night, usually Friday, and I love how he reminds us of it and takes joy in picking out a movie. He's still so little, but getting so big. 

Silas says "beedy" for really. As in: beedy hot, beedy cold, beedy good. He's putting lots of phrases together, like can I see this? and singing his abc's and counting to ten; it's the magical memorization stage.   He's all about Youtube toddler songs, playing swords with Nicky, reading books before his nap, and saying "I say" before letting us know just what he wants. He's mastered the art of being a cute scoundrel (how do toddlers know these things?). When we pray before dinner, he covers his face and whispers something like thank you for this food and then Amen! and looks around smiling. He breaks into song here and there throughout the day. Itsy Bitsy Spider, Twinkle Twinkle and BINGO are favorites. 

Little Miss loves baths these days. She and Silas have that in common; it's a source of entertainment some days. Another development: she's a squealer, especially when she sees Ricky. She's scootching around on the floor a bit more, and looking bigger too. She has two bottom teeth, holds her own bottle, and loves to stand while holding onto things. She also doesn't mess around when she wants something. The girl is loud when she wants to be. She's more of a snuggler lately. She cries to be picked up, not necessarily just because she's hungry or tired or needs something else. I love that she misses us, and how much more connected everything feels these days.

slopes

This past weekend we surprised Nicky with an overnight ski trip. We've really been wanting to take him, and both of us had the weekend off.  We made arrangements for Silas and Little Miss, and picked up Nicky from school on Friday with the news. At first, he was a little bummed about "the babies" not coming along, but I think we convinced him of the logic of not taking them along. (I think.)

I confess I had some selfish motivations for this trip. I haven't been on skis since taking a nasty spill and fracturing my tibial plateau (top of the tibia) three years ago. I definitely had/have some fear and trepidation about the whole business. Taking Nicky turned out to be a good way to ski a little and face a pretty major fear while keeping things light on the easy slopes. 

I can't explain why exactly, because I'm perfectly fine being afraid of or just not doing some things 

(skydiving, rock-climbing, running a marathon, attempting to knit again) but I really want to ski. I 

want to have something our family can go and do all together, especially as the kiddos get older (even if they don't want to be seen with their nerdy parents).

It's an obvious metaphor of course, but this really is how I want to live my life.  I want to figure out which things matter to me and face the fear, rational or otherwise, that would keep me from doing them.

So, we did it. I took it super easy, and the lifts still freak me out (I have a slightly irrational moment of sheer terror every time I have to get off of one, and have to give myself little pep talks. I think I might have actually said out loud "You'll be fine. Just lean forward and do your pizza," to myself at least once. Ha!) Nicky, however, sailed right through. He spent a few hours learning the basic balance stuff without poles, and got the hang of it much faster than we expected. I can really see the value of learning these types of things as a child. Oh, and being the oh-so-humble child he is, he pronounced himself a better skier than me about halfway through the day....this was after I gushed about how fast he was learning, and how much longer it had taken me to learn. This boy....

Toward the end of the day, we rode the gondola up to the top of the mountain. I loved seeing the less populated parts of the mountain, where it's quiet and foggy, and you just hear the sound of people's skis and snowboards in the snow. At the bottom, where so many people are learning, there's loud music playing and people falling everywhere, and you can sort of feel the anxiety in the air. Up at the top, it just feels peaceful. I got a small sense of the joy of skiing before I hurt myself. I crave that feeling again; that simple joy.

Nicky was predictably exhausted by the late afternoon. I'm so happy it was a fun experience for him, and I'm glad I stared down the fear monster.  I still have some work to do in that department, but this was a huge first step.

Nicky turns 6

We had a fun time celebrating our Nickyboy this past Saturday. He wanted an Angry Birds party, and we were happy to oblige. Ricky was a rockstar dad and built some fun launchers. Birthday parties are getting more chaotic as he gets older, but we all just pile in and watch the kids run around, and try to have a conversation here and there. Within moments, every toy is out and the house takes on a new energy. People pass babies around, give hugs, avoid running kid-packs. I love our friends, new and old.

Our kind and generous neighbors provided free face-painting. They don't mess around, as you can see.

Those who could stand to be still painted birdhouses (this is about as far as Silas got).

Piñata time is getting a bit more serious. Nicky asked if he could go first and it occurred to me that he's not one of the little ones anymore. So, he was the first "big kid" to go after the little ones. 

Strawberry cake, by request. Fun with fondant.

Nicky and Jude. They're at different schools this year, so getting together outside of church is pretty special.

testing out the launchers....

So, now we have a six year old. He loves building with Legos and other "click-blocks", dance parties, movie night, Power Rangers and superheroes, still. He's a champ of a big brother; really good at "cheering up" the babies as he puts it. He's still full of funny sayings, like calling his drawings/paintings "fridgers" or "wallers" depending on how good he thinks they are, telling Silas to stop "buffalo-ing" everyone, and insisting that his school friend's name is Samanthum, not Samantha :) He does chores for money now, and is learning about saving and tithing. He loves school and goes to a really good after-school program, and gets upset when we try to pick him up early....

He is still surprising, sweet and full of life. I'm so grateful for another year with this boy.

a lot of new for Nicky

Today was Nicky's first day of first grade.

To commemorate this event, we had our (now annual) back to school dinner last night.

This year's theme: Build Each Other Up. A goal for the whole family. And yes, this setup was demolished promptly once Silas was released from the boys' room where Ricky was keeping them hostage while I threw it all together.

This boy is in a building phase for sure. He made three robots and a carwash with a fancy tower. There's some deep spiritual significance there I'm sure.

Seriously though, we'll be working on being more intentionally encouraging of each other this year. I'm intentional about plenty of things because I want my life to look a certain way; because I want my kids to have certain experiences and I want my marriage to be good. But--things can change so quickly right now. What I want them to remember is not that things were perfect or that we always did this or that--but that there was love and kindness intertwined in all of it. And Nicky is a natural encourager, so I really want to run with that. Really, most days I just want to be more like him. 

I thought it would be fun to build our own pizzas and fruit salad in keeping with the theme. And it was, but we were super hungry by the time it was ready. That's why Ricky has his rally face on, and Silas is just going for it.

I had a little game planned but the interactive dinner turned out to be all we could manage before the babies started melting down (Little Miss played on her mat just long enough for us to eat, which was kind of amazing for her). So, we skipped it and went straight to baths.

Nicky's starting a new school this year, out where Ricky works. It feels like we're leaving a safe, warm cocoon--that's what kindergarten was. He had the kindest, most patient teacher imaginable. So, Ricky and I were a bit nervous this morning as we got everyone ready and headed out. I managed to get a few pics before we left:

                         

Our friend describes it as "a little school right out of the 1950's". Definitely has that vibe to it. We've heard nothing but good things so far, and I really like that he's going to school with such a diverse group of kids.
I think he'll learn a good deal there.

We found everyone outside. I think we were much more nervous that he was--he ran off to play and then lined up like a pro, smiling and carefree as ever. 

He was happy and jumpy and full of things to say when we picked him up. I breathed a sigh of relief and listened to his stories. It was a good first day.