week in phone pics

Highlights: warmer weather, MLK Day-all of us off together, obsessive quilt-making, Kinder Appreciation Night at a basketball game, brothers who love to play. Good week.

just write: two

Something that becomes more precious as our family grows: time for just two people. Yesterday it was Nicky and I going to the movies, with scratchy 3D glasses and Red Vines and me holding his good hand while we skipped through the parking lot. Me and my impossibly long-legged boy whose mind never seems to stop, whose questions and musings I struggle to keep up with, and whose innocence and acceptance of all I feel desperate to preserve. We go to see Beauty and the Beast, and he's so upset when Gaston dies ("he was a good guy, Mommy, and the beast was a bad man, then a bad beast, then a good beast, then a good man")-he sees that progression is possible. My five year old, deconstructing a fairy tale. And there's another bread crumb-I have to remember, now that I'm thinking of it, to tell him I think that's what Jesus would say too, that Jesus is planting seeds of compassion in his heart.

This morning it's just me and Silas, disheveling the house and putting it back together, most often simultaneously. Snuggling and locking eyes and laughing at each other, having our own kind of conversation. Just us two.

week in phone pics

Between two shifts, three doctor's appointments, school starting again, my work holiday party, and all the usual household to-do's, this week was busy and productive. We're a few papers away from completing the foster care paperwork. I'm so excited to be done with that part and finish up the homestudy. Also exciting: I heard from a friend that her family is starting the process of foster adoption as well. 2012 has so much in store.
So it's been busy but good. I've been reading more, and getting a little craft time in too. Still feeling the newness of the year, and dreaming about the future while enjoying all this life around me.

He who keeps me will not slumber

I have that song in my head.....just can't seem to get it right today... For some reason I woke up stiff and sore, with the same croaky voice and raw throat I've had for a few days now and it's Ricky's day to play music so he's out the door early. I decide to feel sorry for myself while I feed the littles. I slice bananas, heat up leftover waffles from the other day, sprinkle slivered almonds. I spill my full cup of coffee all over Nicky's paper and crayons. The dog laps up coffee off of the floor.

Lately all I want to do is read. Like for fifteen whole minutes without something being asked of me. Yeah, I'm pretty much in full blown woe is me mode. I'm tired, I guess? My brain is hungry and my body is tired, and days off are not really days off. I made the mistake of staying up too late last night, watching someone on the internet talk about complicated things in a way that made me angry and sad, at who I'm not sure. Also not sure why I did that to myself. I wish I had the option of a nap. I wish I could find Silas' bottle. I wish I could wear all of my hats with grace and confidence.

I think on Sunday mornings it all comes to a halt because it has to, or maybe it's just years of habit-this is when you get vulnerable and slow down, when you examine. I need some soul stillness, some wise old words to soothe, some repentance. I need to be covered under His wings.

In college on the rough Sundays I used to go the mountains by myself. Pack a sandwich, a book and some water and drive away. Sometimes I would hear better there. But this morning it's tripping over toys and a needy little guy pulling on my jeans and smiling his squinty smile, and Nicky with his Mommy? and he waits for me to answer because I've trained him to, with all my just a minutes. Oh, how I want him to not have to hide from me, to not burden him with my heaviness. So I try to get everyone ready, and I fail. It's too late to be anything resembling on time, and so I give it up, put the baby down for a nap, and re-heat my coffee.

It is good to give up sometimes. What is this really all about anyway? He will meet me anywhere, this constant friend. I read Psalm 121-I will lift up my eyes to the hills-From whence comes my help? Grace is lavished once again; help me exhale it.


He is my mountain today, my fresh air.

the monkeyboy

Friday afternoon began with a trip to the grocery store and then this:

and lots of fun playing until Nicky had his first big fall, from a slide. He was crying so hard, and trying to explain how he meant to jump from one part of the slide to another. A little girl brought him a cookie. We had a bag of frozen peas in the cooler, from our trip to the store earlier, so I wrapped it in a spare onesie and off to urgent care we went.

He said, "I'm just having a problem with this broken bone," so mournful. 

Silas busied himself with the drawers and such, and emptied out my purse about four times. But the wait was not long, and soon the investigation began.

He was a little excited about taking a picture of his bones, but mostly just bummed. Sure enough, two fractures.

A half cast, sling, medicine, and getting to tell Papa all about it made things better. 

Phew.

right now Silas is...

taking a nap :) And so I'm cleaning out the camera, looking at these cute shots from yesterday, while Nicky does some school worksheets. It seems a Silas post is in order; it's been awhile! So in a more general sense, Silas is....

• still working on those molars. Ouch.
• belly-laughing at big brother
• pointing at everything/everyone and saying Ba-ba?
• walking with help, but not on his own yet. That boy just loves to crawl. He does love to go for a little walk around the house every morning after getting his shoes on, and pushing things around.

• speaking of shoes, he loves to hold them up to his feet
• emptying out drawers, and putting things back in drawers. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
• doing cute little dances when music plays

• using Penny as a pillow (Nicky does too-look at her long-suffering face)
• giving kisses and head-butts (topes)
• mimicking hand motions to songs
• waving
• clapping and cheering for himself
• climbing
• doing this:

• wanting to be outside pretty much all the time

hopes for 2012

Today turned out to be an on-call day, so we had a lounge-y morning and went to church, ate some yummy green enchilada pizza, did some major organizing in the office (pretty much all Ricky, but I did give my opinions as I sat there drinking coffee), and played Trouble with the boy. The battle of the molars rages on, but Silas is at last sleeping peacefully. Now it's one more night with the Christmas tree and twinkle lights- just popping in to make my 2012 list official, then Ricky, the couch, Netflix and a big yellow blanket are calling my name. Good day.

My Hopes for 2012

• Become a foster parent, and who knows? maybe adopt. But probably not so soon. But maybe.
• Learn to use more of the features on my camera, also, invest in a good lense.
• Get brave and try skiing again. I had a bad fall and injury a few years back, and I've been too nervous to try again. But I really, really want the kids to learn, so we're going to go. 
• Start reading chapter books with Nicky (oh, I am so excited for this!)
• Pay off student loans. 
• Keep up a good work/life balance
• Read a book a month (open to suggestions)
• make a quilt out of the boys' worn out clothes, and other fabric scraps I have lying around
• be more intentional about spending time with friends
• learn to make artisan bread
• cultivate the habit of un-distracted listening
• and finally, my word for 2012: generous. 

Good night and a very happy 2012 to you!