Tuesday, February 21, 2012

learning a person

We sat up late a few nights ago after the kids were tucked away and talked about our teenage years. Ir was after a long day for both of us; me still in my scrubs and him leaning back into the chair and drinking a tall glass of cold water. He was deep into some old memories, and we shook our heads, and had our silences, and laughed a bit too. I joined in, re-examining some things that have gotten clearer over the years, and some things that haven't yet. I don't know how you turned out the way you did, I tell him, again. Some stories are familiar, and some are new, but we keep remembering to tell each other more. I'm starting to understand how you can spend a lifetime learning a person.

I'm so grateful for the man who sits across from me--for his softness with our children and his ability to push back against ideas, for how he makes me brave, for the understanding we've grown into over the years. One thing I never knew--people can be honest and real and loved all the more for it. I used to think love, in part, was about hiding. Protecting feelings, protecting from the ugliness in me. We've put so much out on the table, and I love him more than ever.

August 2005

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