Wednesday, October 26, 2011

pink week

It's Pink Week, for breast cancer awareness, at Nicky's school. It's funny trying to explain to a little boy how wearing pink is a way of showing solidarity with sick ladies (and men) but I think he sort of gets it. The first few conversations ended with him looking confused and repeating, "But I just don't want to wear pink, Mommy"....He thought his pink hair was pretty cool today though.

Ricky is out of town at a conference, and we get him back tomorrow. I miss his face, and how he plays with the boys while I make dinner. Making dinner with a baby climbing up your leg is no fun at all.

We're having a nice week though, all in all. Baking lots of yummy things and doing crafts and enjoying the season. Tonight it's butternut squash risotto (the last squash from the garden) and baked apples, and the happy occasion of an old friend passing through town and coming over for dinner, with her baby who I haven't met yet.

And just for a bonus: it's cloudy outside. Happy Wednesday.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

one step

The house is quiet and weekend-messy. I have no intention of cleaning until Monday. We're home from a birthday party for a sweet little friend, I have a hot cup of cocoa and a basket of yarn, and a sore flu-shot arm, and I am at peace. This morning I told Ricky, "I want to try this," pointing to the stack of papers that make up the foster/adoption application. And he said, "Cool". He was already there. So it's a yes, and I'm keeping in mind what the regional recruiter I spoke with told me-just take the whole process one step at a time, and be flexible. That's the plan.

Yesterday we went with Nicky's class to the pumpkin patch. Little brother tagged along too. Last year he was a belly pumpkin. We didn't do much chaperoning, because there were a ton of parents. So we pretty much just got to hang out and chase our own kids around like usual, and meet some of the parents we didn't know yet. I love this age. (I'm pretty sure I've said that every year of Nicky's life).

 rubber duck races

 cooling off under the leaves

tired Papa

We came home and vegged out for a few hours (and Silas took a real nap, not one of those 30 minute fakies he's prone to lately) then chopped up the garden. It was still very green so the soil should really benefit for next year. It's exciting to think about what could happen between now and then. We'll see.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

some thoughts on now

1. Silas spends his days exploring every nook and cranny of the house that he can.

We push the chair around to practice walking. He's getting close, but I think his love of crawling will stave off the walking for a while. He's 11 months old today!

2. Nicky came home from school with a girl's phone number in his folder. He says (nonchalantly) that he told her he would really like to play at her house and so she wrote her name and number down for him. We laughed quite a bit over that one and Ricky congratulated him on getting his first number. Who needs parents to set up playdates anyway? We also had his first parent teacher conference last week. His teacher had such nice things to say about him (what parent doesn't love that) and said she can tell he has a compassionate heart. He's also kind of a perfectionist, and will erase things if they don't come out just right. So he's not finishing some assignments. We're working on that at home- whoever invented sticker charts was a genius.

3. I am in a closet cleaning mood. Tuesday it was the pantry (inspired by Pinterest), this morning the laundry room and this afternoon Silas' closet, after he wakes up. It is so darn satisfying and I'm coming up with lots of stuff for our upcoming yard sale. I think I am nesting....because:

4. We are making plans to adopt. I'm so excited! And nervous, and a million other things. We've been talking about it since we were dating, but made the decision a few months ago to actively pursue adoption. I've been gathering information since then, and we've both been processing the idea quite a bit (it's funny how you can think about something for years but when you actually decide to take action it feels totally different).We talked to Nicky about it- his response was about the same as when we told him I was pregnant with Silas-kind of neutral. He lives in the moment, so it will probably take him a while to "get it".

As far as the how and when, I don't know. We want to adopt a toddler, and we would love to have a little girl. After gathering information, it seems our best options are either foster adoption or international adoption. We're leaning toward foster adoption at this point, and have been in touch with CYFD. We attended their orientation for foster care and adoption a few nights ago, and now just need a little time to think and pray. The need is tremendous, and we are drawn to it-that much is certain. We would need to be foster parents first and provide respite care to other foster families. At first I was totally closed to that idea, but my heart is changing. I was closed to it because of fear, and because I want to be able to adopt sooner than later. Fostering first means waiting, and taking our hands off the reins, and possibly having our hearts broken. It means complicating our lives, and exposing some of the pain of the world to the boys. But it also means providing a service that is desperately needed and helping to reunite families. It means playmates and new friends and a house full of life, and the opportunity to offer some peace, stability and love to precious little ones who've been neglected.  What a privilege that would be. And I think that Nicky and Silas need to see the pain of the world, and learn early what's important and what's not.... it's just hard to know how to do that wisely.

So I'm praying for wisdom, pulling back my impulsive inner self that's yelling Yes! Of course! right now. Just give it a few days, self. Back to cleaning out closets, making space and looking for clarity.

Friday, October 14, 2011

at-home day

I realized yesterday that I am exhausted. Work has been ridiculous lately. Days are long. Housework is relentless. There is always something  to be done, right?

I feel it in my body-stomach pain yesterday, sore throat today, harder time getting out of bed each day. Time for some rest. I'm so glad Nicky didn't have school today, and we haven't gone anywhere. I started crocheting a blanket this morning, and we're all still in our jammies. I actually finished a cup of coffee. I made a pumpkin pie with ricotta instead of evaporated milk, since we didn't have any in the pantry. Nicky and I are about to have a pajama pizza party while Silas takes his nap.

I may venture out in a bit to mail a package to my Mom, who fell and hurt her hip recently. And I swept and mopped, but only because poor Silas could not crawl without being dirt-ified and hair-ified. And because that means I will relax more this afternoon.

But, no laundry. That is where I draw the line.

Happy weekending! I hope you get to do something rest-full.

Silas, January 2011

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

camping by the forks

This weekend we took off to the woods to camp with the littles. Our friends weren't able to come, and after a rough (maybe the roughest) day at work on Friday I was hardly in the mood myself, but Ricky did most of the preparations and I mustered up some mom-energy (wish I could bottle that stuff).

As we drove, we saw hints of autumn and most definitely felt it in the air.

We found a nice spot in the Gila Forks area. It was shady and secluded and smelled amazing.

Activities included: a fishing excursion (short-lived due to a fussy baby)

scavenging wood after the General Store where we planned to buy firewood was closed, and hacking away at this giant log we found to keep the fire going (thanks Ricky)

chili dogs and marshmallows for dinner

not very much sleep (Silas is a creature of habit and really loves his bed)

oatmeal, hot chocolate, and snuggling to warm us up on a very cold morning

perfecting pointing skills

rock climbing practice

leaf pile jumping

and finally, a quick hike up to the Gila Cliff Dwellings.

Then, back home to unpack and get ready for another week. I'm glad we squeezed in this little trip. Camping is a lot of work for the people in charge, but I love it. I want my boys to have lots of these kinds of memories, and I really do love getting away from all the distractions and just being together.

Nicky took this picture of us. Six years! I love life with this guy.

bread crumbs: on truth

The whole earth is full of the weight and significance of who God is. The prophets were deeply influenced by this understanding that the earth is drenched with the presence of God.  The writer David said, "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it." He later prayed, "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?"....

Truth is everywhere, and is available to everyone....
Claim it. If it is true, if it is beautiful, if it is honorable, if it is right, then claim it. Because it is from God. And you belong to God.  
So as a Christian, I am free to claim the good, the true, the holy, wherever and whenever I find it. I live with the understanding that truth is bigger than any religion and the world is God's and everything in it.....

To be a Christian is to claim truth where you find's not truth over here and Jesus over there, as if they were two different things. Where we find one, we find the other....
 In the first line of his gospel, John calls Jesus the "Word". The word Word here in Greek is the word logos, which is where we get the English word logic
Logic, intelligence, design. The blueprint of creation. 
-Rob Bell in Velvet Elvis

Thursday, October 6, 2011

school nights

This is a very at home season we're in. On a typical day, shuttling Nicky to and from school feels busy, along with the domestic and baby-chasing related activities in between. Then, time to start dinner. Homework and chores. Dishes, baths, Silas is in bed by 6:30 usually, and Nicky by 8:30.

Sometimes we stretch it out a bit, like Monday with a pumpkin bread baking session and a long walk toward the swiftly disappearing desert. Past the construction. Silas stayed up past his bedtime, snuggled up in the carrier, wide-eyed as ever. Nicky was overflowing with stories, taking fast little breaths in between words.

We turned back when the sun was setting, and met the new neighbors. 

I like this season. I'm scheduling myself at work a bit less, just to keep up with all the at home business. It feels important to not miss stuff. Have I mentioned I'm grateful for my job? Flexibility is a beautiful thing. And a day out of the house does this mama good. I come back energized and looking forward to more of the revolving, everyday chores (not to mention ever more grateful for health). My days at home sometimes feel like stolen days, like vacation. That's the best feeling.

There are exciting things going on around here. We're packing up for a camping trip this weekend.  Saturday is our 6th wedding anniversary. And a long-time conversation is taking shape into reality (more about that later, it's processing still).

This morning I pulled out hats and gloves from Rubbermaid boxes, and found some old winter clothes of Nicky's that now fit Silas. Knit turtlenecks, jeans with softly worn knees, little leather shoes with elephants on them, footie pajamas.

Silas is zoom-crawling, and edging around the coffee table, taking wide steps holding on to our fingers. Belly-laughing at brother when we get him from school. Pointing and making declarations. Wanting to be right in the middle of whatever's going on.

They're growing, and every day is the most precious one so far.  
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