This week brought some changes that are both daunting and exciting. I started night shifts again (I just might be crazy, yes) so that I can work on labor and delivery, all the time. I've seen amazing, beautiful births and have had to pinch myself. My favorite moment so far: giving a baby her first bath about an hour after her birth, wrapping her up, looking at the proud, spent parents resting and thinking this is actually my job. This is really happening. I feel so blessed, and oh so tired. We're in transition. Yesterday, Ricky extended all kinds of grace my way; I know once I get used to this it won't be so hard to shift gears, but I have to say I'm so grateful for a partner who doesn't reinforce my own unhealthy mama-guilt. When we give each other room to pursue dreams, it means we pick up what slack is left. We're working it out. I have to remember how to be present in my tiredness--in that way it's kind of like having a newborn; each time we've had one I've had to learn it all over again. All that sweetness and exhaustion mixed together.
This weekend, grace looks like blanket forts, pizza, fifteen minute power naps, quiet reading time, and the way my head fits right into the space between his neck and shoulders. It means sending him out for that beer with a friend; it means the chai he brings home to me. It looks like dragging Silas' mattress under the blanket fort and smiling at each other on the couch as little boys giggle to each other, surrounded by a mountain of stuffed animals. It means smiling through the tired because one of my dreams is coming true.
I'm actually all caught up on the Bible for Lent reading, and working on several posts for that right now, but in the meantime here are some posts I bookmarked over the past few weeks. Happy weekend :)
Kelle Hampton- Those Hot Pink Jeggings
Journey Mama- You can't have everything.
Rachel Held Evans- Ashamed
this poem by Amber C. Haines
another installment in Micha Boyett's One Good Phrase series
A Courageous Biography of C.S. Lewis
Dear Mom on the iPhone, I Get It- Fried Okra