We have a little baby in the house again. She is super tiny and sleepy, but over the past week we've seen her become more alert. Her eyes were half closed all the time at first. Since this is a public blog, there's not a lot I can say, or show of course. We've been fostering her for one week and will probably be for some time. We know next to nothing. We'll know more soon.
I've seen so much sweetness come out in my boys (well, Silas' sweetness has to be contained so he doesn't poke her eyes and whatnot). Children's ability to immediately accept change never ceases to amaze me.
So many mixed emotions. It's bizarre being in limbo like this, but that's what fostering is I guess. For now, there's a tiny little bug that curls up on my chest, and stretches out when I un-swaddle her, and smells like baby. Sink baths and pacifiers and so many naps, and figuring out what that cry means, and if you change her diaper I'll make a bottle at 2 am and wow, was that a smile? It's all familiar but so different too: the visits, interventions, tests. This is a weighty thing, but I'm trying to just enjoy the marvelous little details in all the waiting and uncertainty; all the holding back and giving.